Unwatchable #19: “The Ten Commandments”

Your fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.

Rest assured, this is not the time-honored Cecil B. DeMille version of The Ten Commandments you grew up watching on ABC every Easter. No, this is 2007’s computer-animated take on the Biblical tale, designed to make the story of Moses accessible for younger viewers. And if there’s one thing guaranteed to get the kids interested, it’s Elliott Gould as the voice of God.
Read the rest of this entry »


Unwatchable #20: “From Justin to Kelly”

Your fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.

I’ve only ever seen one episode of American Idol in my life. It happened when some friends threw a little viewing party for the first season finale ten years ago. As I recall, it was an impossibly bloated production, full of music I would never listen to on purpose, and seemingly hours worth of Seacrest-flavored filler. It’s hard to believe now that there was any suspense at all about the outcome. A decade later, winner Kelly Clarkson is a music superstar, while runner-up Justin Guarini is a Trivial Pursuit answer.
Read the rest of this entry »


Unwatchable #21: “Keloglan vs. the Black Prince”

Your fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.

One thing we haven’t touched on much throughout this dangerous experiment is the role that cultural differences can play in the evaluation of an Unwatchable. Take today’s subject, Keloglan kara prens’e karsi, for example. It’s a Turkish comedy about fairy tale characters, modeled roughly on the zany, anything-goes Zucker-Abrams-Zucker (or, in Unwatchable terms, Friedberg-Seltzer) style. I’m reasonably certain it’s the first Turkish comedy I’ve ever seen. I have no way of knowing how it compares to other Turkish comedies, or what sorts of things the Turkish people consider funny, and I have no frame of reference for any of the Turkish cultural content. I assume the people who voted this film into the Bottom 100 were primarily Turkish, as it doesn’t seem this movie had much of a life outside its home country. (It apparently got a release in the Netherlands, but that’s about it.)
Read the rest of this entry »